i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
