I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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