..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
