I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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