I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
