I got chris browned last night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
