Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
