your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
