WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
