The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
