He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
