at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
