my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
