Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
