So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize