This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
