chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think my moral compass just broke
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
