Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
