I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
