yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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