i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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