just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So. Much. Porn.
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