Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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