i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
