Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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