Nicole vs. Life
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
