Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me I should be a condom model.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
