I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
