You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
