This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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