We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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