I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
