and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
