I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
