Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
