All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
