Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize