mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
