I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
