You're completely useless in the revolution.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
