Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
