Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
