Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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