my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What a dumb baby whore.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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