erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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