just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
