okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize