Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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