i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize