If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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