there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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