Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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