I could have mohawked her pubes.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
