I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
