Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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