Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
