but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
