I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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